Family Travel

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Staying in the Loop
By Tracy Staton

Tips for how the family can keep the routine running smoothly when mom's away on business.

Let's start this story with a personal anecdote: A few weeks ago, I was traveling during my 12-year-old daughter's final exams. Persuading her to study from far away wasn't the trouble. It was my feeble calendar. I didn't have an updated version of the activity schedule with me, but thought I remembered that her voice recital was during my time away. I insisted that she take a long study break and have her father take her to the recital venue to verify.

You probably already know the outcome: There was no recital. My daughter stopped studying for nothing. And my husband had one more story to tell about his wife's absentminded ways.

After researching this story, I know better. A mother's successful business trip starts before she leaves, with routines and systems that work when she's home — and when she's not. "Mom and Dad should agree on some basic routines that are in place no matter which parent (or caregiver) is with the kids," suggests Carol Margolis, a business-traveling mom with her own website of travel tips, SmartWomenTravelers.com. "These systems should be in place and habitual no matter which parent might be away from home."

We'll start with my nemesis, the calendar. Post a big, erasable calendar in a central location and fill in every family member's schedule, preferably color-coded. Update this calendar religiously, including scheduled tests, homework assignments, and project due dates. Especially make sure that it's up-to-date when you're getting ready for a trip. Consider rescheduling occasional appointments such as dental checkups for when you are there to make life simpler for your family while you're away. Then add your kids' schedules to your own calendar, so you can remind them — and check up on school deadlines — from the road. Many schools have grades and deadlines posted online, so you can visit the school's website and make sure the family is aware of significant happenings. An online calendar that alerts dad and older kids' phones of important events is also a good option for keeping things running smoothly.

Don't forget to post the dates you'll be traveling, too, so everyone knows when you'll be gone. Then go over everyone's schedule with your spouse — and older children — before you leave. Include addresses and phone numbers for places your children will be visiting if your spouse will need directions. If your kids need supplies for a school project, now's the time to make sure they're in the house.

Speaking of homework, you already have a designated location and time for your kids to get theirs done. Right? If not, set up a routine now, with input from your kids. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests a regular homework time, whether it's right after school or in the evening, and a standard homework location, whether in your child's room or at the dining room table. Just make sure the homework spot is free of distractions like TV, video games, and so on. Make sure regular school supplies are nearby and ready to go.

Now, about mornings. Leave written instructions for each child, or post a chart listing all the things she needs to get into her backpack for school: Homework, lunch or cafeteria money, permission slips. For younger children, trace one hand onto construction paper and cut it out, then list the things that need to leave the house with them in the morning, suggests Blue Suit Mom, a website for working mothers.

Once you're on the road, you'll want to keep tabs on the goings-on at home. Rather than waiting to call in the evenings, when late meetings and business dinners might interfere, call in the morning, when everyone is sure to be home, suggests Phaedra Cucina, author of My Mommy's on a Business Trip. Whenever you connect, consult your calendar so you can check with the kids about their homework and upcoming activities. With older children, e-mail, texting, and IM chats (such as AOL Instant Messenger and Gmail) work just as well. Or check Facebook: If they're online when you are, you can chat.

To make sure you get the full scoop — and avoid monosyllabic answers to your "How was school?" questions — set up a reminder board, Margolis suggests. If they come home excited to tell you something, have them write themselves a note and post it on the reminder board. Ditto with permission slips and other backpack notices. That way, they'll remember to tell you when you call.

If you're like 96 percent of business travelers with children 7 and younger, or 81 percent of those with kids aged 8 to 17, you find it tough to be away from your home and family, American Demographics reports. But with some advance planning — and attention from the road — you can make life easier for yourself and your family back at home.